Thursday, February 15, 2007

Episode 413

(Continued from Episode 412)

And so the adventures of "Herpes: Fully Loaded" began. The first car I've rented was a Mazda 3. I wasn't very into cars, but the Mazda 3 had everything I dreamed of - the volume control for the stereos was on the steering wheel. I was more than impressed. I picked up friends for breakfast, lunch and dinner and drove everyone around. My good friends Audrey and Jess were visiting from Singapore and this is the perfect timing to drive to Montreal. I was more than ready for this because the volume control for the stereos was on the freaking steering wheel!!!

And so I was happily yakking with Jess when I picked them up from the airport. We were waiting at the junction when Jess screamed "Eh!! In front!!" and I realized that I've released my footbrake without, er, realizing it. I jammed on it, everyone jumped and we were a few inches away from an accident. My driving skills scared the crap out of everyone.

Of course, the real test began once we hit the highway - it was close to rush hour and I was trying my best not to freak out in front of the girls (read: ego issue), and so I subtly dropped hints to Audrey to check out the right lane and Jess to check out the left while I was filtering. Everything that John had warned me for simply flew out of the car window. I was so not ready for this.

Treacherous, pulse-racing and erections-killer is what I would have describe the ride to Montreal which took longer than expected because I've missed an exit. And it doesn't help when everything is in French - Nord, Sud, Rue, Cum, whatever. I was just glad that I was in Montreal twice and so I was vaguely familiar with the surroundings. I crashed right into bed once we checked into the hotel. Since when did driving became so tiring?

And I dreaded the fact that were driving to Quebec City the next day. Unfortunately (or fortunately), Audrey lost her wallet during the day, and that practically killed everyone's mood to venture further to Quebec City. We decided to make our way back to Toronto. By then, I was adequately trained by both Toronto and Montreal drivers and the ride was thankfully smoother than what we thought.

While we were back in Toronto, I was driving along the road when I stopped for a mother and a kid who were at the pedestrian crossing. Jess looked at me for a while and reflected, "Now from the way you drive, I can see that you have improved." I smile broadly and gave myself a huge pat on the back. It was worth the two days of crash course of learning how to drive - properly.

Then I ran down the mother and the kid. Just kidding.

And there was this time I was having a semi-crush on a cute CBK - Canada-Born-Korean (oh okay, I just wanted to bed him) who was visiting from Vancouver. So I rented a car and picked him up from the airport and for the next few days I was practically his chauffeur, ferrying him around town and running errands. But when I found out that he was taking me for a ride (literally and figuratively speaking), I prided myself with the consolation that they probably have small dicks anyway. It was another opportunity for honing my driving skills while picking up boys - see? Who says you can't drive, be gay and still have fun?

By the time I was closing my chapter of life in Canada, fall was approaching.

(to be continued)