Sunday, March 16, 2008

Episode 502

Wei sent me an email about NKOTB (New Kids on The Block, for the uninitiated and/or born after 1986) making a comeback into the music scene. I wasn't exactly sure if this will be a good thing, because I was driven by the fact that if they had gone somewhere else to begin with, they must have been pretty sucky. So making a comeback - even when you're suffering from depleting royalties - is rather uninspiring.

Nevertheless, 20 years ago, they seem to have captured the attention of the entire universe. Along with Jason Donovan, Tommy Page, Martika, Living in a Box and countless others which will make some squeal in digust ('Oh my God, I can't believe I bought his/her album! Gross!').

The year was 1989 and it was my first year in secondary school (or high school). I was barely 13 and around me were many friends who discovered that the meaning of life is nothing more than centre-partings, super-lemons and getting a copy of Rick Astley's cassette.

Those who were slightly more adventurous would attempt to learn to dance and sing like their favourite group. I wasn't spared of that ordeal. Once (well, sigh, a few times actually), I was required to sing and dance with some others in our uniformed group's Talentime Contest. Don't ask which uniformed group I belong to; it was too painful to tell.

We performed on various occasions, which by the way, these songs must never be brought up again for the rest of the century:

• Eternal Flame by the Bangles: I still remember the synchronized steps vividly - left step front, left step back, right step front, right step back, TURN!

• If Wishes Came True by Sweet Sensation: dance steps largely similar to Eternal Flame, but with more emotional angst because it's a really, really, really sad song. God, I'm gagging at this very moment. We didn't had the lyrics so my friend had to listen to every bit of the song and try to figure out what the hell they were singing. I really can't blame her when she wrote "now you're gone and I'm on my own" as "now you're gone and I mop my home".

• Leave a Light On by Belinda Carlisle: the most complicated dance routine. Ever. In the end I felt I could take on Jane Fonda.
  

And, I exclaimed to Wei one day, "Who could forget Roxette? They had fantastic songs."

His eyes grew wide. "Don't you realize that their lyrics never made much sense?"

Quit the job, the grey believers,
Another town where I get close to the bone.
Whatcha gonna tell your brother? - oh oh oh oh oh
Whatcha gonna tell your father? - I dont know!
Whatcha gonna tell your mother? - let me go...

I'm gonna get dressed (ahh!) for success!!

"Well," I explained. "I mean, whatcha going tell your mother that you're dressing for success right....?"

"Uh-huh."

"What about Ace of Base? They were great."

I saw the sign
And it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
Life is demanding
Something something something!

Wei gave me an "Incredulous!" look.

"You obviously didn't see the Sign!"

"I'm glad I didn't!"

Granted that some of us didn't appreciate the wonders of over-the-top (read:trashy) pop, the girls in my school were only too happy to plaster cut-outs of Tommy Page and Aaron Kwok all over their plastic files. They would carefully wrap the files with clear plastic sheets, decorate the borders of the cut-outs and scribbling "NKOTB FOREVER!" I must have done something similar to that extent although in all honesty - I can't remember if it was Kylie's or Jason Donovan's picture.