Sunday, May 11, 2008

Episode 505

Because they can't sell a bloody share to save their life.

A few days ago, I overheard a client calling my boss, wanting to sell 1 million shares of Stock A at the price of IDR1,000. She launches into a panic mode the moment she puts down the phone.

I wasn't involved in the trade as my colleague Ivan was assisting her. And with the level of trust she has given me over the past year, I figured that even if I tried to help, my advice will fly straight into the bin. So I tried keeping mum.

The fun began when she started to get confused and in turn, made everyone confused as well. "Wait... is it one share @ IDR1,000 or one lot at IDR1,000?"

Ivan replied. "It's one share at IDR1,000."

"NO! I don't think so you know! You better check! How many shares are there in one lot?!" She shot back.

Ivan stood up at looked at me from his desk, his eyes widened. I looked at him and gave a 'here-we-go-again' expression. This is priceless s***.

She continued her fiasco. "There are 500 shares in one lot? Or 1,000 shares? Gavin, for Share A it's one share at IDR1,000 right?"

"Yes, it's one share at IDR1,000." I replied.

"No, better confirm, what's the trader's number?" Told you my advice will go straight to the bin.

"What's the dealer's number? Huh?" Panic Panic Panic!!! Meanwhile Ivan's frantically messaging me on MindAlign, our chat program.

IVAN: She's confusing everyone!!
GAVIN: Yes, and the Jakarta market isn't even open yet.

"Hello? Who's this? Yah, I want to check ah, Stock A, the price is one share at IDR1,000 or one lot at IDR1,000?!? Oh? Ohhh.... one lot is the minimum size of shares... ohhh!!!"

Now she gets it.

And then she proudly declares to everyone - "It's one share at IDR1,000, not one lot. One lot has 500 shares. Ivan, get it?"

Ready, on your mark, get set - EYES ROLL!!!

And then she yammers on. "Ivan, have you keyed in the trade? Is it done?"

I couldn't hold it any longer. "Er, actually the Jakarta market isn't open till 10:30 Singapore time."

"Really? Are you sure? They're not open at 9?"

"No," I replied. "The market is open at 10:30 Singapore time."

"Are you sure? Ivan, better check!"

Ah, whatever.

My boss was from corporate banking before she hopped over to the private banking world a few years ago. I mean - she's incredibly knowledgeable when it comes to corporate loans, hedge funds and global economic trends. But I'm quite perturbed by the fact that she spins into a frantic frenzy and drags everyone along when a client places a straight-forward trade to sell a share.

During my previous appraisals, I was lambasted by the fact that I was unfamiliar with the bank's systems - to the extent that she was accusing me of lying to her about my experience when I was interviewed.

Of course I was livid, but I tried (very calmly) to explain to her that my experience was with derivatives, not the in-house systems that go along with them - simply because different banks use different systems.

I've discovered how managers can manipulate subordinates into thinking that they are always not up-to-par with their job. They do this by juxtaposing unrelated events, terms and even job-specific experiences and subsequently launching randomized attacks as and when they deem fit.

Perhaps this is a way to keep their subordinates in check; and besides half a battle is won when you confuse the enemy. Not forgetting it helps masks managers' incompetency in terms of knowledge. If in doubt, scream first, scream the loudest and keep everyone running in circles.

Of course there's a way to counter this (which I've learnt through the hard way): don't panic, don't back down, and address each issue at a time. Get your facts right and be sure of what you know - make your manager understand (if it's possible!) that unrelated issues remain unrelated.

If all else fails, pray that you get a new manager.

I did, and I'm f***ing celebrating! :)